CHAPTER 1

 

“Hawk.”

Zoe Weaver’s heart lurched at the name. She looked over her shoulder, her gaze searching the group of casually dressed naval personnel who took up most of the yard and deck. Several men called out greetings and converged on the tall man balanced on crutches just inside the wooden gate.

     Since meeting him six days earlier, she’d found it hard to push aside the impression he had made, or the anger she experienced because of it.

“I screwed up,” had been the way Lieutenant Adam “Hawk” Yazzie had put it, without any details. She knew injuries happened in combat, but he had made no bones about taking blame for her brother’s injuries.

She found that frustrating and unacceptable. She couldn’t direct her rage at a situation, only at the man claiming responsibility. Every time she went to the hospital and saw her brother hooked up to tubes and wires, she experienced another surge of emotion, grief and fear the strongest of them.

How had he caused this?

She needed to know.

Hawk’s midnight dark hair stood out against the lighter toned heads that surrounded him. His high forehead, sculpted cheekbones and angular jaw were a study in pride and control as well as his Native American heritage. She had only a moment to admire the bone deep masculine beauty of his features before his pale gray gaze homed in on her. A shock reverberated from her midsection downward to the bottoms of her feet. Her heart rate kicked into overdrive.

Realizing her prolonged stare could be misconstrued, she turned her attention back to the tray of hamburgers she was replenishing, had she known he would be coming to the Marks’ barbecue, she’d have made some excuse to avoid the gathering.

Just his presence made her hands tremble and her stomach to somersault. A burst of resentment tightened her shoulders. She took a deep breath, drawing in the scents of chlorine, suntan lotion, and grilling meat as her rapid-fire heartbeat continued to thump against her ribs.

She had no business thinking, about anything or anyone but her brother right now. She certainly had no intentions of pursuing her attraction to him. Not that he’d be interested in her, even if she did. He was completely out of her league.

The man was six foot, four inches of Naval Brass through and through. He’d probably bleed Brasso if he scraped his elbow. She knew the analogy wasn’t true, but used it to remind herself of whom and what he was.

A Navy SEAL.

     She scanned the small clumps of people scattered around the yard eating and drinking. Langley Marks, her host, had finally abandoned his position at the grill and joined some of the men at the volleyball net set up in the corner of the yard. Others sat at one end of the deck in the shade, watching the game and calling out encouragement to the players.

     Under any other circumstances, this trip to California would have been a treat. The weather was beautiful, the temperatures moderate. Palm trees loomed over the wooden privacy fence encircling the yard. Hibiscus shrubs, hugged the deck, their big fuchsia blossoms a splash of color against the sand-hued stucco on the house’s exterior walls. 

     High-pitched squeals coming from the pool drew her attention. Her mother and sister sat poolside with Trish Marks, encircled by a ring of female supporters, wives and girlfriends of the men present.

     The deep worry lines etched into her mother’s face were a testament to her own beliefs. A father and possibly a brother were enough to give for her country. Getting involved with a man in uniform was just asking for pain.   

     The muted tones of a child’s voice broke into her reverie. She looked around the food-laden picnic table in search of the source. Walking around the corner of the table, she spied a small discarded sandal peaking out from under the tablecloth. She kneeled and pulled up the edge of the plastic to look beneath.

     Pale blond ringlets obscured the child’s face as she danced a bathing suit clad Barbie doll, minus its shoes, across the decking and inserted her, legs first, into a pink, plastic convertible.    

     “Katie Beth what are you doing under there?”

     “Playin’.” The simple logic of the child’s answer had her shaking her head. Ask a dumb question.

“Come out, baby,” she urged.

     Katie Beth looked up briefly before going back to her make- believe car journey. Pale blue eyes and a rounded jaw, much like her own, held a Weaver stubbornness she recognized all too well. ”Don’t want to.”

     “Why not, sweetheart?”

     A pale pink lip protruded. “Grandma and mommy keep crying. I don’t like it.”

     With a weary sigh, she rested her forehead against the edge of the table. “May I come in with you?”

     Katie Beth cocked her head as though considering the request.

“Okay.”

     She crawled beneath the table with her niece. With a four year old’s trusting affection, Katie Beth climbed into her lap and cuddled back against her. Zoe rested her chin against the blond curls and breathed in the baby powder and sun block scent that clung to her.

     “Grandma and mommy are very sad,” she explained as she adjusted a strap of the hot pink bathing suit over the fragile curve of the child’s shoulder.

      Katie Beth’s voice was almost a whisper. “Uncle Brett is sick.”  

     “Uncle Brett was hurt while doing something very important, sweetheart.” Her voice sounded husky and soft around the lump in her throat. “He wanted us to be safe. He wanted other little girls and boys like you to be safe, too.”

     “Mommy said I can’t go see him.”

     “That’s right. But—“her voice wobbled, and she cleared her throat. “Once he gets better, he’ll come home and you’ll get to see him then.”

     A beat of silence followed, then with her normal precocious bluntness Katie Beth asked, “Is Uncle Brett going to visit God like Grandma Rose?”

“No.” Her arms tightened around the child as she fought back her own fear and uncertainty. “He’s going to come home to us.” She sought something to distract the child. “Would you like to be my helper Katie Beth?”

“Okay.”

“We have to help Mommy and Grandma feel better. You know what helps me feel better?”

Katie Beth shook her head.

“Getting your hugs makes me feel better. Why don’t you go give Grandma and Mommy a hug, so they can feel better, too?”

     “Okay. I’ll take Barbie so she can hug them, too.”

     “I think that would be a good idea, sweetheart.”  

     Katie Beth wiggled free and crawled from beneath the table, the doll clutched in her hand.

     Some of the tension that drummed at Zoe’s temples relaxed and she rested her forehead against her bent knee.      

     “Hello there, little bit.”    

     She stiffened at the sound of Hawk’s distinctive deep voice.

     “What happened to your leg?” Katie Beth’s asked.

     “I hurt it, but the doctor’s are making it all better.”

     Zoe crawled forward to peek from beneath the table just as the child lunged forward and hugged Hawk’s good leg fiercely.

     His expression surprised, he cupped the back of her head, her ringlets curling between his long fingers. A smile touched his lips. She jerked away as quickly as she had hugged him, and ran through the guests toward her grandmother.

     His attention settled on her as Zoe crawled from beneath the table and settled back on her heels. She took in the crutches and the bulk of the knee brace clamped around his leg. The denim of his cut- offs hugged his muscular thighs. A white tee shirt stretched across the broad width of his chest, delineating the shape of a well-toned torso. A strip of gauze covered a four-inch section of his arm just above his elbow.  

What other injuries might he have sustained during the mission? Her cheeks felt hot as she got to her feet.

     “If you’ll have a seat I’ll fill you a plate, and bring it to you, Lieutenant.”

     One black brow quirked at her stiffly formal tone. “No thanks, though I wouldn’t say no to a cup of coffee.”  

     She nodded and flipped her long pony tail over her shoulder. Conscious of his regard, her limp had never seemed more conspicuous as she traversed the distance to the coffee pot set on a card table and back, returning with a Styrofoam cup. “You prefer it black, don’t you?”

     “Yes.”  

     Instead of going to sit at one of the tables with the other men, he hiked a hip on the deck railing, propped his crutches beside him, and reached for the cup.

     “That knee will swell if you stay on it too long,” she warned him.

     “I know. Brett told me you were a physical therapist. How long have you been practicing?” He sipped the coffee.

     “Two years. I can get you a chair.”

     His smile flashed white against the swarthiness of his skin. “If I allow you to get me a chair, it will give you an excuse to avoid me.”  

     His words fired her cheeks with heat and her temper at the same time. She held her tongue to keep the peace in front of the other guests.

     “Your mother said your sister was returning home with Katie Beth tomorrow.”

     She nodded, wondering where he was going with this topic of conversation.

     “I want to help, if you’ll let me.”

     “How?”

     “I know you and your mother are staying at a motel, which is pretty expensive. I also know that Brett’s one bedroom will be pretty cramped, if you can get permission to stay there. I live off post and can offer you both a place to stay until Brett is well.”

     The surprise she felt was hard to disguise. “Why would you want to do that?”

     “Because Brett is a member of the team and part of our family. When you place your life in another man’s hands you get pretty close.”

     Her brother had placed his life in this man’s hands and had nearly been killed. Looking into the steady gray gaze she couldn’t level that accusation at him, though the thought bounced around in her head. She didn’t wish Hawk ill. She just wanted her brother well again.

     Part of what he said was true, though. Many of Brett’s letters home held news of Hawk and the other men in his SEAL team. He spoke of them as though they were brothers—-especially Hawk.

     “I’ve spoken with your mother about it and she’s agreed, but only under the condition that you do as well.”

     Her attention swung back to her mother. The financial strain of staying at a motel had been worrying her. But what about the strain of living under the same roof as him? This unwanted attraction to him was like a betrayal of her brother.  

Hawk would probably be embarrassed if he knew how she felt. She didn’t want to dwell on the humiliation she’d face if he discovered it. She’d been through that before.

     “You could make sure I don’t overdo my PT. With our training we’re used to pushing ourselves. As I understand it, I can’t do that with a soft tissue injury.”

     “No, you can’t.” More at ease in a professional capacity than a personal one, she felt the tension in her neck and shoulders relax. “If you push too hard before you have a chance to heal, you’ll be back to square one.”

     “Then it’s good I’ll have you there to offer me advice. What do you say, Zoe?”     

     How was she supposed to hide her attraction for him, when he seemed just as determined to draw her out?

“When you’re accustomed to living alone, even one extra person can be too many, Lieutenant. Perhaps you should give this idea a little more thought. You don’t really know us very well. You’d be taking strangers into your home.”

     “And though your mother has met me before, I’m a stranger to you.”  

She hated the cowardice that had her eagerly jumping on any excuse to avoid getting any closer to him. “Yes, you are.”    

A smile laced with charm quirked one side of his mouth upward. “Uncle Sam trusts me. Don’t you think you could trust me too?”

 She folded her arms against her waist, her tone dry. “You don’t really expect to get anywhere with that line, do you, Lieutenant?”

He chuckled, the sound deep and masculine. “I couldn’t resist. My motives aren’t entirely altruistic. I’ll be at PT once a day. I can adjust my schedule to coincide with the times you and your mother spend time with Brett at the hospital. I can’t drive and I know you’ve rented a car. We could ride in together and you could share my car and turn the rental back in. It’ll save me from taking a bus or taxi or calling one of the men for a ride.”  

     She took his empty cup, careful not to touch him. “More?”

     Hawk shook his head.

Was she as determined to hold onto the antagonism she felt toward him, as she was in denying the magnetic sparks that arced between them? He watched the swing of her long hazelnut ponytail as she went to the garbage can and tossed the cup away. That heavy swath of tawny hair naturally streaked with blond seemed to beckon provocatively “follow me”.

The trim, tight curve of her hips and buttocks drew his attention. A vision of him cupping her rounded derriere in his hands lanced through his thoughts with the impact of a cruise missile. His mouth went dry and his breathing grew short.

Why was he leaving himself open to frustration and rejection?  She obviously wanted no part of him and being Brett’s sister, he couldn’t pursue her anyway. Brett would expect him to protect her, not try to coax her into bed. To look after them was the reason he’d offered them a place to stay. Wasn’t it? 

     The slight hitch in her stride didn’t bother him. Brett had told him about the accident that had nearly cost her a leg. She was a fighter, stubborn and strong. He recognized those qualities in her already. But Brett hadn’t said anything about her obvious distrust of men. He hadn’t told him how delicate and lovely she was, either. The slender self-assured young woman who stood before him looked very little like the gangly twelve year old child with freckles across her nose in the photograph Brett carried in his wallet.

     To give her time to think about his offer, he changed the subject. “You’re very good with your niece.”

     A small smile, the first he had seen thus far, peeked out. “She’s been around for a while, so we’ve had a little practice.

She’s unhappy because she hasn’t been allowed to see Brett. Sharon thinks it would be too upsetting for her even if she could.”

     He read the strain in the faint, bluish shadows beneath her eyes and the lines around her mouth. The numerous hours she spent with her brother at the hospital, was already wearing her down.   

      “When are you going back to the hospital?”  

     “At seven-thirty. They’ll let us stay till nine, but won’t let us stay the night.”

     “You have to rest sometime, Zoe. Brett will need you once he wakes up.”

     If he woke up.

He could see the words punch through her thoughts as they did his.

     “I’d like to go with you,” he added, drawing her unusual pale blue gaze back up.  

     He noticed the darker blue ring around the lighter blue of the iris, the sweep of dark brown lashes, and the unblemished texture of her complexion. He wondered if her skin was as smooth on other parts of her body.

Wayward parts of his anatomy began to respond to the image.

Hawk cursed beneath his breath. Focus. Complete the mission. Get Zoe and Mrs. Weaver settled in his house and look out for them until Brett recovered and could do it himself. That’s what Cutter would do if something happened to him—if he’d had any family left to look out for. An ache settled beneath his breast bone for a moment. He twisted his thoughts back to the task at hand.

     “I’ll have to drop Mom, Sharon, and Katie Beth off at the motel. Sharon needs to rest and so does Mother.”

     “What about you, Zoe?”

     “I’m doing Okay.”

     The stubborn tilt to her chin brought a smile to his lips. He hadn’t seen much resemblance to Brett until then.

     A squeal and splash from the pool caught her attention and she straightened, and looked toward the water.

     “Doc’s in the pool with her and Langley’s children. He won’t let anything happen to them,” he said.

     He thought she might be beginning to relax with him when another smile tilted her lips.

     “Katie Beth swims like a fish. She’s also fearless. He may find he’s bitten off more than he can chew.”

     “It must be a family trait. I’ve never seen Brett back off of anything, either. And from what he’s told me, you can hold your own.”

     Her smile died as quickly as it had blossomed and her expression grew shuttered. “I hope you’re right, Lieutenant. Brett’s going to need everything he’s got to come back from this. So will the rest of us. Please excuse me, I’d better check on my sister.”     

      He swore beneath his breath as he watched her cross the deck and go down the steps.

     “How about a beer to drown those flames,” Chief Petty Officer Langley Marks said as he held out a bottle dripping with condensation. His quick grin slid over into a smirk. “Don’t take it to heart, Hawk. The lady hasn’t been any more receptive to any of the other men.”

     “It isn’t like that, Lang. She’s Brett’s sister, she’s off limits.”

     Langley’s thick brows rose. “You’d better fill the other men in on that, then. More than one of them has been urging her to test the waters.”

      He experienced a quick twinge of irritation. “And?”    

     “It was a no go. They never even got their feet wet.”

     He fought the smile that tugged at his lips. “Good. If just one of them gets involved with her, there’ll be hell to pay when Cutter wakes up.”

     Words of doubt weren’t voiced, but hung between them. They both tipped their beers upward.

“I’ve offered them a place to stay until Brett recovers.”

“Jesus, Hawk.” Langley’s lantern jaw hung open a moment. “I don’t think you have a clue what you’re taking on here.”

“Probably not, but I’ll get by.” He rolled the half empty bottle between his palms, mindful of mixing alcohol and the pain medication he was taking. “There’s room for them and I’m not there much.”

     “You will be until that knee heals,” Langley pointed out.

     “I’ll be taking another language class while I’m recovering and once the swelling goes down, I’ll have PT about an hour a day.”

     “Damn son, don’t you ever relax?”  

     Hawk offered him a smile. He had never had a problem finding a lady with whom to relax. Inspiring a more permanent affection was where he ran into trouble. He smothered the quick pain the thought provoked.  

     Langley rolled his eyes. “You’ll have to make sure you don’t throw your underwear around, take out the trash after dinner each night, and put the toilet seat down.”

     “If that’s all you do around here, it’s no wonder Trish does so well while you’re gone,” he needled.

     Langley grinned. “There are a few other things I take care of that I didn’t mention. If the situation changes between you and Ms. Weaver, I could offer you a few suggestions.”

     He took a swallow of beer. “It’s not happening. She’s Cutter’s sister. I’m not laying a hand on her. Besides, her mother will be there to chaperone.”

     “I can see how that would put a cramp in your style, which leads us to another problem. If you’re not laying hands on her, you won’t be laying hands on any other female on the premises while they’re staying there.”

     He shrugged. “I can lay hands somewhere else then.”

     Langley grew thoughtful. “You’re really serious about this.”

     “Yeah.”

     “It could be months, Hawk, it could be never.”

     Pain and guilt twisted his gut into knots. “So could my knee. It doesn’t hurt anything to keep a positive attitude, to hold onto hope. I figure if they can,” he pointed the neck of the bottle he held in Zoe and her mother’s direction, “I can.”

     “It wasn’t your fault, Hawk. None of us knew Brett had entered the building until you noticed it. If you’re doing this out of

guilt—“

     “It was my responsibility to keep track of my men.”

     “Strong Man was his swim buddy. He didn’t even notice he was gone. How were you supposed to know? You saved his life, man, and damn near got killed doing it. No one could ask any more from you than that.”

     He knew Lang was right, but it didn’t change the fact that Brett was hurt. He viewed the operation as a personal failure, though they had succeeded in destroying the building. The whole point of the mission was to get in and out without shots being fired, without injuries being sustained.

Why had Brett gone into the building? Until he knew the answer, it would continue to drive him crazy.

     His gaze strayed to Zoe as she sat next to the pool in a lawn chair and watched the children paddling in the water. Doc O’Connor, the corpsman of the team sat beside her on the concrete. She smiled at something he said then shook her head. The man took her hand and pressed it over his heart. She laughed then withdrew her hand and wagged a finger at him in a negative motion.

     He hadn’t realized how tense he was until she rose to call Katie Beth out of the pool. Keeping Zoe Weaver from becoming involved with one of the team members was going to be a challenge. He could handle it.

Finding out what had happened to Brett Weaver was more difficult. But he’d do it.

He had to know.